weird dream

BFF was going on a trip.  SM and I were in the back seat but yet we decided to stop by the mall.  We told the gals that we would meet them in SF.  We ended up spending 2 hours at the mall.  I showed SM some terry sweats by Adidas and asked her if they were a good deal.  She examined them and decided they weren't so we didn't buy them.  SM told me she was looking for a coat so I find the coat section and we end up trying them on.  For some reason, I was carrying a RED tote bag and put it on top of some random display.  ( I got tired of holding it since we were trying on coats).  We didn't find anything so we left. Suddenly, we're at SM's house (but it didn't look like her house) and we were going pee. LOL! Then i realized that I lost my purse! SM helped me remember where we left it.  But then, she calls out to her mom asking her if she has seen it. And her mom said she saw it on the floor by the bathroom door.  So I get my purse and we get in the car and I realized that I don't even know what's in it and the most important thing is my ID and cards.  The rest were junk that I didn't care about.  Then I was mad atmyself because it was the second time I lost it (that day, i guess) and I didn't check the contents in my purse after I found it the first time.  

After that, I find SM, me and Frank walking on a pier/ carnical or something.  It was a nice day out and we were all laughing and Frank squeezed my ass hard while he was walking next to me.  I was shocked at first then accepted it. 

SOOO, that was my dream.  WTF does all this mean?  

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Fate

 Aquarius
January 20 - February 18
You should take a step back today and realize that things are generally moving in a very positive direction for you. And the future should soon be bringing you even more rewards for all your efforts. So try not to let your thoughts be dominated by any unfounded fears and concerns at this time.

Remember this

I came across this quote, of all places, on MAAAI-SPAAAACE!

"You have to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad; Love what you've got and remember what you had.; Always forgive but never forget, learn from your mistakes but never regret; People will change and things will go wrong, but just remember that life goes on."

SIGH... ain't that the truth.

Afraid of the awesomeness

That's what a coworker said to me earlier to today.  That I was "just afraid of the awesomeness.  Don't be afraid."

more details to follow later.

Check back soon.

Change

That was the theme of last week's Season Premiere of Gray's Anatomy.  Even though I said I wasn't going to watch this show anymore, I am, once again, hooked.

Last season, we were left with Burke leaving Christina Yang on their wedding day, Izzie and George had an affair but he was trying to make it work with HIS WIFE Callie and Meridith broke up with her McSteamy.

This season, it seems that Christina finally is learning about love and compassion.  You can see it in her eyes when she works with patients now.  I really want to find out what happens to her- how she grows and handles what happened to her and Burke.

I'm tired of Meridith and her wishy washy ways.  Yes, she has the most issues of them all! 'nuff of that.

On to Izzie and George.  True, they were best friends.  But George is MARRIED now.  Callie LOVES him and now George just wants to be with Izzie?  I kinda feel like she provoked him.  Why can't she leave him alone?  Okay, true, you can't deny their friendship but I feel so bad for Callie.  She feels what's going on but is giving him the benefit of the doubt.  What's sad is this is what I am afraid of.  It's change.  Change that another person will stop loving me and vice versa.  Change that I will get sick of them and vice versa.  All good things come to an end. Right?  It kinda makes you want to stick with what you beleive. Me, myself and I.  Do I seriously feel that I'm better off successful and happy alone than in a relationship that is doomed? Are all relationship doomed? Isn't that the ultimate ending? 

I try so hard to be positive. To keep an open outlook on love and giving things a chance but I think I am just too chicken shit because I already know what's gonna happen.  

But then again, i understand that the only thing we are sure of is that everything is uncertain.  Change is inevitable.  So live it, go with it.  And you kow what's funny?  I haven't been hurt so I don't know why the fck I think like this! I swear I've been traumatized or something.
UGH! GAH!  I think i am just way to emotional to watch these shows.
/rant over.

Rising Star- Marie Digby